My slow endless pain (Abused! Depressed! Katsuki Bakugou)
by x.X.x.Kira.Kitty.Kat.x.X.x
Summary: What if Katsuki was conditioned to have a harsh outer shell as to not let people inside? What if someone finds out. What if he hid it for years before anyone found out. Katsuki has quite a few secrets he does not want to share.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bnha i only own my plot and story.**

Katsuki woke up with a pounding headache. He groaned slightly and rubbed his face recalling last nights events.

_The sound of a bottle shattering rang throughout the house. "Why are you so USELESS?" Katuski's mother screamed at him as he cowered in a corner. This was a daily event. Always. Its never seemed to end. "WHY DID YOU FAIL YOUR TEST. WHY ARE YOU NOT PERFECT?" She screamed again. Katsuki looked down in shame. This was his fault. He failed his math test. He was a failure and he was not perfect. His mother slapped his so hard blood spurted out of his nose. She then kicked him in the stomach twice. He wanted to vomit. Not that there was any food in there anyways. He starved himself under the influence of his parents so his body would look perfect. His mother continued to scream and abuse him until she got bored and sent him to his room not to come out until he left for school. He crawled up the stairs and lay on his bed whimpering in pain. It became unbearable. He blacked out._

Its was morning now. Time to get up. He got dressed after caring for his wounds. Grabbed his bag and left for school. Along the way Katsuki met Izuku. Sweet innocent **_perfect _**Izuku. He never failed a test. He never got in trouble. He was skinny. He was oblivious to Katsuki's pain. Katsuki always wore long sleave shirts and long pants which Izuku thought to be odd but didn't question. They were childhood friends. Yes Katsuki had his outbursts but they were still friends. They got on the bus together and rose to class. All day no one seamed to notice that a lonely ash blonde boy was in pain. Pain so bad he could hardly see straight. At lunch he ate some cafeteria food then went to the bathroom and threw it all up. He had to seam normal and eat. Or else someone might suspect. He continued class as normal. Well as normal as possible. When he got home he opened the door. The dreaded smell hit him hard. The scent of drugs and alcohol. He went to his room silently after removing his shoes. He stayed in there all night studying. That was. Until Katsuki heard the door open and heavy footsteps drag towards him. He looked down in shame knowing what was about to happen. Knowing he could not stop it. Blaming himself that he was about to be raped yet again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclamer: I do not own bnha**

**WARNING! RAPE OF A MINOR. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!**

**WARNING! SELF HARM! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!**

**(WARNING! RAPE OF A MINOR)**

Katsuki squeezed his eyes shut and he felt his father turn his chair to face him. "Look at me" His father said roughly. Katsuki looked up at him obediently. His father ran his thumb over Katsuki's soft lips before picking him up and throwing the ash blonde on the bed. Said blonde winced in pain as the larger male climbed on top of him and straddled his hips whilst licking his lips in anticipation.

Katsuki whimpered softly was his father kissed and licked his neck as he began to grind against him. He removed Katsukis clothes and lustfully took in his young teenage body like a greedy fat kid might look at cake or candy. Katsuki watched in shame as his father unbuckled his own pants revealing his own member. It was thick and pulsing due to his erection. Katsuki gripped the sheets as his father slowly slid into his abused hole. His body screamed in pain but he only bit his lip. He was used to this.

His fathers pace picked up until it was harsh and animalistic, shaking the bed causing it to make loud thuds against the walls. This blended with the bed creaking and the wet slapping sound if hard sex. Katsuki helplessly watched as his father stroked his member in time with his thrust. He hated his teenage body for reacting the way it did. He hated the hot pleasure mixing with the pain.

It seamed like lifetimes before his fathers thrust became sloppy and finally Katsuki felt a hot liquid rush into himself and warm his belly as his father climaxed. This in turn, triggered Katsuki's own climax and he moaned out helplessly as he bucked his hips instinctively as he and his father rode out their orgasums together. Soon his father pulled out and smiled at the ash blonde teen.

"What a slut," was all he said before putting his pants back on and waking out leaving a battered and violated teen on his bed, crying as he felts his fathers disgusting fluids mixed with blood leak out of his anus. He felt ashamed. Like it was his fault. It wasn't of corse, however; he still felt it to be. He curled up into a fetal position and cried himself to sleep. Feeling as though he really was a worthless imperfect slut.

~With Izuku~

Izuku was starting to become worried about Kacchan. He just seamed so frail and tired. He looked sick as well. He didn't mention it though. He did not want to make the explosive ash blonde upset at school and so he kept trying to talk to him after school. But said ash blonde always went home in a hurry. But curious young Izuku watched and always saw... Kacchan pause before he opened the door as his head went down and he tensed as he opened the door and slipped in silently. He never talked of his parents. He always talked about his home like he didn't want to go back. Izuku knew something was wrong. He just didn't know how to ask his friend. What really bothered him was that sometimes when Kacchan would sit down he would wince like he was in pain. Izuku wondered if Kacchan got beat on his butt or maybe something harsher then that. But sweet, innocent, pure Izuku would never guess that brave, strong, fearless Kacchan was being raped by his own father.

He also noticed that his skin appeared to get paler and more translucent every day His dark circles appeared harsher and more stark every time he saw him. This concerned Izuku. He rightfully thought that a goodnight's sleep was vital to a growing boy. If Kacchan was not getting enough he may get sick. He also saw him eat only small portions then rush off to the bathroom almost instantly. He had researched it and was shocked to find out poor Kacchan might have a eating disorder. This worried the teen more. Growing boys must eat a lot after all. That is what his mother said anyways. He should visit his friend. Just to try and talk to him for once.

_Timeskip_

With Katsuki

The young teen woke to a dull throbing pain in his rear end. He inspected himself and was not surprised to find his legs sticky with cum and blood. He got up and took a hot shower scrubbing furiously. When he got out his skin felt raw and was a angry red. But he still felt dirty. He felt disgusting. Slutty. He looked down at himself in shame. He went to his room and took out a pencil sharpener. He expertly undid the screw and slid out the blade and sat on his bed.

**(SELF HARM WARNING)**

He made cuts all over his thighs and arms. Then on his hips and belly. He choked back a sob and made more until he felt satisfied as he watched the crimson liquid slowly leak out of his pale skin. He was truly puzzled as to why it was the same shade as his eyes. It didn't matter though. Nothing mattered. All that mattered was hiding his and his family's sins from the world. He cleaned the wounds and got dressed in black jeans, a grey long sleave shirt with his black skull shirt layered on top of it. He slipped on his white socks and combed his hair. Then sat at his desk and studied. Today was Saturday. There would be no excape until Monday. He dreaded the weekend unlike most teens. It meant he would have to stay at home and get abused. All weekend. He felt dull and hopeless. That was until, however; he heard someone knock at the front door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bnha**

With Mitsuki 

Mitsuki lie on the couch half-asleep (though fully drunk as well as high) as she watched soap operas. She wondered if her idiot bastard of a son would finally kill himself today. This was all his fault. It was his fault she went to a party, got high and drunk, then got knocked up by a man who was not her husband. It was his fault she got pregnant with a bastard child and his fault he was born. It was all his fault her husband loathed the child because he was sterile and could not have his own children. He was a bastard imperfect worthless child and that's all he will ever be.

As Mitsuki took another swing from her bottle of vodka she heard a knock and the door. She ignored it only to be annoyed when said knocker kept knocking. She finally got up and staggered over to the door and opened it. Looking down at a young teen with forest green hair and eyes and a spay of freckles.

Izuku looked up at Mitsuki and observed her form. Her eyes were red, a tell tale sign of being high. Her face was the blotchy face of someone who drinks way too much. She smelled strongly of alcohol (or was that just the house?) and Izuku noticed she held a rather large bottle of vodka.

Mitsuki glared at the child and asked in a growl, "What do you want." Izuku took a step back shyly. "Hello Miss. I came to see Katsuki, because we are study partners. I was wondering if he was here." Izuku hated lying but he had to talk to Kacchan.

Mitsuki glared at the child then turned and screamed, "KATSUKI GET YOUR BASTARD ASS OVER HERE THIS INSTANT." Izuku flinched. Why would a mother talk to her child like this?

Katsuki came down stairs cringing and expecting another beating. He was surprised to see his friends outside on the porch but still went to his mother and said, "Yes Mother?" Mitsuki glared down at him then slurred "This kid says your have to study together. Is it true?!" Katsuki glanced at Izuku who was wide eyed and silently begging him to say yes. "Yes Mam. We have to do our homework together. Sensei said so," Katsuki responded quietly. Mitsuki glared down at him. "Then get your fucking homework and get the fuck outta my face," she venomously hissed at him. Katsuki nodded and ran upstairs and got his stuff and returned wearing his back jean jacket over a grey zip-up sweat shirt. He put on his black ankle high combat boots and looked at his mother. "I'm ready Mother," he quietly said. Mitsuki shoved him outside and hissed "Get the fuck outta my sight!" before slamming the door in the two boys faces.

Izuku looked at Katsuki softly only for Katsuki to glare at him. They both walked for a little ways only for Izuku to finally ask. "Kacchan? Whats wrong?" Said ash blonde growled defensively before answering "Nothing is wrong. Everything is just peachy." "You look sick." Katsuki didn't respond. "Kacchan?... Are you getting abused?" Katsuki stopped and looked at his green haired friend in dismay.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer; I do not own Bnha and just to make it clear he dose not know Mitsuki's husband is not his real father.**

Katsuki could only stare at his friend. He couldn't figure out what had caused him to ask such a question. Yes he had brused and scuffs on him but he brushed it off as getting into fights. His violent (false) nature caused that to be a likely explanation. He composed himself and glares at Izuku. "Why would you ask a stupid question like that?!" he hissed between his teeth. Izuku shrank back slightly. "B-because Kacchan... you show all the signs. I looked it up. You... the way you act... it just seams so likely..." Katsuki glared at the ground. If he told anyone and his mother and father would kill him. If he didn't tell however, he may never get out of that hell hole. He cleared his throat before answering. "Whats it to you nerd?" Izuku furrowed his eyebrows, "Because Kacchan, I want to help. If your parents abuse you you should tell the police. That would make them Villains. Only villains harm children!" Katsuki sighed "Deku... Put this into perspective. Say I was getting abused. I tell the police but my parents don't do to jail. What would be in store for me when I got home? Imagine how bad the abuse would get. Okay but what if the police do take them away? What happens to me? Where will I live? At the orphanage?" Izuku grinned before replying "You could live with me!" Katsuki only walked silently.

After a few minuets he confessed. He looked over to Izuku and said "They... they abuse me." He looked down in shame. Izuku frowned. He suspected this. He had to tell his mother.

They got to Izuku's house and he opened the door letting Katsuki in. He guided the ash blonde to his room and went downstairs again. He approched his mother, Inko.

"Mother?" he said hesitantly... Inko smiled. "Yes darling?" Izuku gulped "I-... I have to tell you something... something about Kacchan."

_With Katsuki_

Katsuki sat on Izuku's bed gripping the sheets. Why the FUCK did he tell him? Mother will kill him. His parents sins have been revealed. Izuku knows. He went to go get snacks. Thats what he told Katsuki. But he had a sneaking suspicion that Deku was being a little tattle-tale. The little bitch. He sobbed slightly thinking of his punishment. Not knowing... that that was the last time he would see his parents for a long time.

_**Timeskip two months**_

Katsuki now lived with Inko and Izuku. His parents had been taken away by the police. He had to tell everything to a police officer. His parents were put away and Katsuki was assured they would be there for a long long time.

He put on a fake mask of happiness but deep down inside he felt awful. He cut more often and cried himself to sleep... silently of course. He ate the food Inko gave to throw it up again. He had to wait some time though as to not seam suspicious. He knew by then the food had begun to be absorbed by his body and it made him feel so utterly fat. He trained every day now because next week was the exams for U.A. and he had to get in. He had to be a hero. If not he was a failure. He could not would not fail. He refused to except it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own bnha **

It was the day after his exam for U.A. and Katsuki was quite confident he was going to get in. He sat alone in Izuku's room on his lower bunk of their new bunk beds. Izuku was in the shower, humming quietly. Katsuki would never admit it but the thought of the other boy naked gave him warm tingles in his private area. He had known he was gay for a long time. He felt nothing towards girls though his fake friends at school talked about them all the time much to Katsuki's annoyance. They also talked about jacking off so frequently that Katsuki was disgusted and thought that something was really wrong with them. Then they bragged about having sex with girls. Katsuki shook his head at this. Who in their right mind would have sex during middle school? The risk of pregnancy and STD's ... it made Katsuki shudder.

Katsuki hissed in annoyance at the growing ache in his groin wishing it would go away. He decided to ignore it. He got up and went to his dresser and opened it. He looked at the clothes then selected a black sweatpants and a black baggy longsleave shirt as well as new boxers. The ash blonde checked to make shure the door was closed before stripping. He groaned slightly after pulling off his boxers feeling the cool air hit his throbbing erection. The grit his teeth and pulled on his clean boxers and the rest of his clean pajamas before dumping the dirty clothes in the laundry hamper. He crawled into bed after shutting the lights off. Izuku soon came into the room still humming and drying off his wet hair. Katsuki watched the green haired boy who was only in a towel as he forgot to bring clothes. Katsuki sucked in a breath as the dowel was dropped and he got a full view of Izuku's soft ass. Izuku turned slightly to the side as he put on his boxers unknowingly allowing Katsuki to see his most private area causing the ash blonde to blush darkly and his erection to throb harder. Izuku obliviously continued his actions of putting on his boxers then a white tank top and grey basketball shorts before climbing up onto his bed. Like clockwork Inko entered the room after knocking. She smiled softly and said in a soft voice "Good night boys." Both boys responded "Good night" to her. Inko continued to smile as she softly said "I love you both" before closing the door and waking away. After a few moments Katsuki heard the soft snores of his roommate and turned to the side pondering weather he should deal with his problem or not.

He decided against it and rolled to the side attempting to fall asleep with the annoying ache. Finally after a few hours it went away and the explosive teen fell asleep. Only to be plagued with nightmares.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer I do not own Bnha**

**WARNING! RAPE OF A MINOR. **

**WARNING! SELF HARM.**

Katsuki opened his eyes to his bedroom. That is... his bedroom when he was 5. He was playing with his toy cars making race car sounds as he pushed them around like a child dose. His door opened and he looked up to see his mother. She was swaying and holding a bottle of grown-up juice. She glared down at the smaller ash blonde as she stalked over to her son. Said boy looked up innocently at his mother. His mother growled slightly and slapped him so hard blood came out of his nose. Then the staggered away. The scene changed. **(WARNING! RAPE OF A MINOR)**

He was 9 now and lay on his bed reading a book about big cats. His father walked into the room and shut the door. Katsuki looked up in suprise. Why would he shut the door? His father walked over to him and pulled the book put of his hands and tossed it aside. He proceeded to yank down Katsuki's pants and boxers. When the young boy looked up at him in fear he smirked and rammed into the small ass hole. Katsuki screamed in pain feeling his father rip his ass open as he rammed into him at top speed. Finally after a half a hour Katsuki felt a hot liquid invade his body as his father sighed blissfully. He then left the broken boy laying on the bed. Blood and semen dripping out of his ass and tears dripping off his face.

Katsuki woke with a start feeling the phantom pains in his ass. He cried silently. He reached under his pillow and pulled put a pocket knife.

**(WARNING! SELF HARM)**

Katsuki sat up and pulled down his pants and looked at his thighs. He brought the knife down and cut his thighs five times each. Then eight... then twelve... then fifteen... twenty cuts on each thigh. He sobbed quietly feeling the blood pool. But he just pulled his pants back on, hid his knife again... then he curled up and cried himself back to sleep.

He woke the next morning to Deku's alarm. Fucking Deku. He just wanted to sleep forever her felt so tired. He covered his ears waiting for Deku to turn off the wretched alarm. After he did Katsuki rolled to face the wall and sleep again. But stupid fucking Deku had to ruin it. He shook the ash blondes should and chirped "Hey Ka-chan get up! today we are going to the mall!" Katsuki groaned in annoyance. He hated malls. But yet her got up, gathered his clothes and went to the bathroom. After locking the door he stripped and looked down at the mess he made last night. Blood was still leaking out and dried blood was crusted on his legs. He got in the shower amd furiously scrubbed himself until he felt clean enough. Then he washed his hair and got out. After drying himself her pulled on his boxers, black skinny jeans, a black longsleave shirt, and a grey skull short on top of that. The he put on his belt. He emerged bathroom and dumped his clothes in the hamper. Deku was all ready dressed and downstairs eating oatmeal. Katsuki went down and ate some plain toast. After they ate they brushed their teeth and left after putting on their shoes and jackets. Katsuki put on headphones and listened to music while riding on the subway. When they got to the mall Deku went in almost every store while Katsuki was only interested in GameStop and Hot Topic. After what seamed like hours they left while carrying their bags. When they got home Katsuki lie down to read a book... and fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own bnha

Izuku entered his room looking for his roommate at a request from his mother to bring him down for dinner. Katsuki needed to eat. He looked so skinny and sick. Izuku was also sad to find out Katsuki was still cutting himself and hiding it. He had found the pocket knife under Katsuki's pillow while changing the bed sheets but had put it back.

As Izuku walked over to Katsuki he noticed him shaking and stifled sobs came from underneath the sheets. The broccoli haired boy sighed softly and touched his friends shoulder alerting him of his presence and causing him lo lay still. "Dinner is ready Kacchan." The greennette spoke causing the ash blonde to stiffen. "I'm not hungry" was all he said. Izuku furrowed his eyebrows. "Please Kacchan. You need to eat. It's really unhealthy for you not to so much." At this Katsuki tuned and looked at Izuku showing him red puffy eyes and a snotty nose. "NO! CAN'T YOU SEE? I'M FUCKING FAT! I DON'T NEED TO EAT OR I WILL GET FATTER. I'LL NEVER GET INTO U.A. IF I LOOK LIKE A HUGE FUCKING BLOB OF SHIT!" The ash blonde screamed as he sat up. He didn't hold back the tears anymore and let them flow freely. Izuku was speechless. He couldn't form the words to tell his friend he was perfect. He couldn't form the words to tell his friend he was too skinny and that his ribs showed. He couldn't help his friend.

Inko was standing in the hall and having heard all of this went to her computer to google the right phone number. Soon she found it and dialed it up. "Hello?... Yes. I would like to schedule a appointment... Um yes. Young teen boy ... yes... Suicidal, eating disorder, possible PTSD and emotionally unstable... Yes alright... See you tomorrow."

As she set the phone down Inko could only hope Katsuki would accept help.

The next day Katsuki awoke to a pounding headache and Izuku snoring loudly. He rolled over and groaned rubbing his face. He got up and gathered his clothes then went to the bathroom and took a shower scrubbing furiously at his body causing the skin to turn red and his cuts to open and bleed. Once he was finished he turned the shower to ice cold and rinsed all the blood away. He got out and dried off with a towel and put bandages over his wounds. He then dressed in black jeans, a black and grey striped long sleave shirt and a black t-shirt over the top. He put on his socks and dried off his hair then exited the bathroom. Izuku had just awoken and was dressing hin his blue jeans and light blue shirt. He smiled softly at Katsuki as if the night before didn't exist. Katsuki didn't pay anny attention to the greenette and stomped past him. He dumped his dirty laundry in the hamper. At the moment Inko knocked at the door and Izuku opened it. She smiled her sweet innocent smile and calmly said "Breakfast is ready boys. We have a long day ahead so you need to eat up!" Izuku smiled and nodded. Katsuki only scoffed and simply stated "I'm not hungry." Inko's smile flattered but she nodded okay and walked away.

Once Izuku and Inko ate their breakfast, they trio brushed their teeth and left the house. They got into Inko's car so that's how they knew they were in for a long car ride. They settled down with their books and video games. After a few hours Inko pulled into a parking lot and told the boys to get out. They complied with her order and exited the car. Looking around they noticed they were at a hospital of some sort. They were both confused. It was not the time of the year for either of their yearly check-ups and neither of them were sick. Inko led them to the main building. They walked in and were greeted by a woman with blonde hair who smiled cutely at them. "Hello. How may I help you today?" she chirped. She was American you could tell by her accent. Inko smiled softly. "Appointment for Bakugo, Katsuki." The woman typed this in and told them to sit in a waiting room. Katsuki nervously bounced his leg as he sat in a chair. Why was he here? What the hell was this place? Why are all these strange people here.

He looked over and saw someone who looked bluntly exhausted. They slouched in a chair and stared at the floor quietly. Unmoving. Uncaring. They had bandages on their arms. He looked elsewhere. He saw someone else. A boy with red hair. He sat next to his mother and played on a gameboy. A nurse walked in with a clipboard. "Kirishima?" The boy and his mother got up and left. Where were they going? Why?

Another nurse came in. "Yamada?" The quiet person got up and followed them quietly.

Finnaly another nurse came in. "Bakugo?" Inko smiled at Katsuki and guestured for him to follow her. Izuku stood to follow as well but Inko held his arm and motioned for him to sit again. Katsuki was perplexed. Why were they being seperated? They hadnt been seperated since "the incedent". Why here? Why now? He quietly turned and followed the nurse down a quiet hallway. Wondering, "why am I here?"


End file.
